fire meet gasoline.

when two worlds collide you never really know what to expect, “worlds” obviously meaning people and their lifestyles. Some people have their little “habits” (and I actually dislike using that word in that term) from biting their nails to mine.. up in the clouds.

We all have specific things that make us uniquely well.. us. for me, its not so easy for people (family, friends) to understand. Im a recovering alcoholic, about 45 days sober, a newbie. To say alcohol is bad is too ignorant, in itself it isn’t. Its a problem when you feel like you can’t feel anything besides when you are drinking. The last incident for me was when I got extremely inebriated off of boxed wine and made somewhat of a spectacle in my home. It was horrible, waking up the next day and realizing how much of an ass you made of yourself. It was when I really decided that I needed to kick that “habit”

Since I was about 20/21 years old, I have smoked weed on a pretty regular (albeit lengthy periods of time) basis. I felt so fucking cool, finally doing what the cool kids do. I got somewhat consumed on the “HIGH” of it and wanted to feel that way all the time. When I smoked it was purely out of fun and recreation , I never knew what the hell I was actually smoking. I for sure didn’t even know any of the “basics” about cannabis… indica? sativa? strain? indoor or outdoor? hybrid? what the fuck did any of that mean..

It wasn’t until I was a little bit older, 2-3 years down the time when I actually educated myself about medicinal ways to use cannabis. It is so intriguing! I also suffer from PTSD, MDD, Anxiety and have arthritis in both of my knees due to dancing throughout my life. So many of these conditions can be managed through the use of medical cannabis. Personally, I am a lover of sativa dominant hybrids. They don’t make me feel so couch locked and it helps me GET SHIT DONE.

The only extremely shitty part of it though is that my boyfriend and family FREAKED THE FUCK OUT when they learned that I was a cannibas patient. They absolutely hate it and I feel like they are making something out of nothing. Unfortunately, marijuana is so misunderstood and I hate it. “Stoners”come in all shapes, sizes, form etc. and we aren’t all lazy, unmotivated and sloppy. I really hate that we get that rap! Honestly, I don’t even know where I’m going with this blog now.. maybe just to vent my feelings because this is the only place I really have where I can do that. I just don’t know how to make others understand that it isn’t such a bad thing, in fact, ITS LEGAL. I don’t go to some guy I met on craigslist behind an alley, its not like that at all. When you have a cannabis card, you can go to the store or even have it delivered! I just don’t know even where to start to get them to understand and medicating helps to much with arthritis and PTSD to stop. I hate feeling like I have nowhere else to go.

Anyways, thats my kindof scenario going on right now. Who knows, maybe years from now ill look this up and see if WordPress still has my account open and laugh at this. HELLO FUTURE SELF, ITS OKAY THAT YOU SMOKE.



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